The Brown Eyed Dreamer

'Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.' William Wordsworth

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Of Yesterday

Of yesterday I’ll remember,
The sharp brightness of February’s sun,
Cold air that cloaked two figures side-by-side,
Hands brushing like the whisper of the wind.
I’ll remember the hushed whir of a projector,
Shoulders touching gently in the dark,
Silent anticipation held in fleeting glances
And the fumbling of fingers on laps.
The sound of laughter will echo in my mind,
Of teasing, play-fighting and stupid faces,
And your eyes, your eyes bright in the sunlight,
Will remain long after memory fades.
I’ll remember a train ride home,
The sky fading to an inky shadow that cloaks
The world surrounding as fast as the cold,
Day fading slowly as shadows crawl in.
An arm relaxed around my shoulders,
Fingers braiding and unbraiding themselves,
In hands I had not known before,
And a soft, comforting voice beside me.
But most of all I’ll remember the moonlight,
The gentle creak of rusted swings in the breeze,
And your lips, your lips a breath from mine,
Then no distance left between.

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I don’t understand how anyone could hate Valentine’s day, because once you peel back the plastic, fake exterior of heart-shaped balloons, chocolate and material roses, you see the small sliver of what the day is all about- love. Pure, simple, love.

It blows my mind to think of how many people found love today, whether greeting it as a tentative stranger or welcoming it like an old friend. The many people who let the weight finally fall off their shoulders and confessed their feelings, letting emotion tumble clumsily out of them and into somebody else.

Think of the amount of fluttering butterflies, hammering hearts and shaking sweaty palms. The amount of pens poised above paper, fingers hovering over keys and lips parted ready to speak. The amount of people who took the plunge into the ice cold deep, and were forced to wait a shattering few seconds for a reply.

‘I feel the same.’

The amount of breaths released like balloons to the sky, eyes lit up like lanterns and smile dancing across faces. The amount of people whose lips slowly met another’s in a moment of pure, honest love, as a thousand sparks exploded and cascaded around their heads and raced to the ceiling above their heads.

The amount of fingers intertwined and hands gently brushing. The amount of blushes, stumbles, stutters, giggles, smiles. The amount of confessions released and stories began. Heart-wrenching, raw, beautiful, entwined in a single touch, smile and word passed between smiling lips- love. That is why I love Valentine’s Day.

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Kiss in the Rain

Rain falls in time to a quickened heartbeat,
Two pairs of eyes slowly begin to meet,
Wind whispers through fingers intertwined,
Your lips reach forward to touch with mine,
A slow kiss in the midst of a storm.


The Next Morning

And in the morning,
When the lights are too harsh,
When the night’s sparks have long since faded,
Please don’t let me forget you,
Please don’t let me regret you.

And in the morning,
When the cold seems too heavy,
When my lips have long since left yours,
Please don’t let you forget it,
Please don’t let you regret it.


When It All Began

I can still remember that night as if it only just happened. You called me to come up to your house  after everyone had left, and I snuck out with my dog, claiming I was taking him for a walk.

Shivering from the cold, I stood and waited outside your house for you to come out, and when you appeared at the door, I just about fought the urge to break into a huge smile. When you came outside, you instantly noticed I was cold and wrapped your arms around me to stop me from shivering so much. I leaned into you, letting your arms wrap around me and burying my face into the soft scent of your hoody. And we stood there hugging in the cold autumn air, my dog sniffing absent-mindedly at our feet.

Eventually you broke the silence. ‘Remember that Thursday, you said I had to tell you if I ever liked you again?’

I nodded, my head still resting on your chest. “Yeah?’ I replied questioningly, unable to keep the shakiness out of my voice from the cold and the growing butterflies thundering inside me.

‘Well… I like you.’

I broke apart from you slightly, far enough so I could look up into your eyes.Up into those bright blue eyes I’d been daydreaming about for months. Up at you, the boy who had been my 11:11 wish, my last thought at night, my reason for smiling. The boy who had just uttered the three words I’d been waiting years to hear. I looked up at you, and then without a thought, I leaned in and I kissed you.

A short kiss, a sweet kiss. A kiss that threatened to make the butterflies explode from my chest and fill the sky like confetti. A kiss that took my breath away and left my body melting into yours. A kiss that sent a ricochet of goosebumps dancing down my spine. A kiss that whispered a thousand secrets and screamed ‘finally!’ into the crisp night sky.

We broke apart slowly, eyes locked. And I couldn’t keep the smile from escaping my lips this time as I stared at you giving me the same goofy smile back. Such a perfect smile, this time directed at me. Me. You like me.

‘Well it’s a good thing I like you back then, isn’t it?’


The Finally Answered Question

They were walking along a quiet dusty road, where the sound of car tyres rolling slowly along gravel was the only sound that accompanied their voices, when the topic turned to love. They were walking side by side, their fingers almost touching as they walked comfortably beside each other. He started the conversation, asking her if she was lonely. She looked at him with vague confusion written across her face.

‘What I mean is, don’t you get lonely sometimes?’ he asked, a slight blush forming on his cheeks which was barely visible in the growing darkness, ‘Don’t you want a boyfriend?’

She raised her eyebrows in sudden deep thought, her forehead wrinkling as she pondered in a way that made his stomach flip. Her mouth curled as she looked towards the ground, then finally looked up and stared at him with wide brown eyes, brown eyes he’d grown to love.

‘Not especially,’ she said, shrugging, ‘I mean, sometimes when I see couples, I feel a little stab of loneliness. But most of the time, I’m fine being single. I’m not interested in a relationship just yet.’

And with that she turned and started walking slightly faster, turning her head to smile. He was frozen to the ground, so she came back, took his hand and led him forward, like a guard dog with a blind master.

As they walked through the pools of golden light spilling from the streetlights, she asked him, ‘What about you? Are you lonely?’

He dropped her hand, lowered his head so she couldn’t see his eyes properly. ‘A little. Sometimes.’

Her eyes widened suddenly as an idea struck her. ‘You’ve found somebody, haven’t you?’

Right there, he wished the world would swallow him up, that the cracks in the pavements could open and he would be swallowed deep into their crevices. He wished he could disappear away from this conversation; why did he have to bring it up in the first place? But instead, he sighed and gave a small, almost imperceptible nod.

She gasped, and was going to jokingly hit his arm and begin to tease when she realised how serious he looked. She decided to try something different.

‘What’s she like?’ she asked softly, cocking her head slightly to the side.

A million thoughts ran through his mind. She was beautiful, kind, on a whole different world from everyone else. Her smile and laughter could light up a room Her quirky habits frowned upon by most fascinated him. He could stare into her eyes for a million years, getting lost inside her amazing mind. Finally he managed to choke out, ‘She’s pretty amazing.’

With that, he raised his head and looked her straight in the eye. ‘She’s absolutely amazing.’

Their eyes locked in a sudden moment of electricity, understanding passing through them like a thunderbolt. Her eyes widened and her lips parted, a small ‘o’ shape forming on her lips. His eyes remained fixed on her complex beauty, her everything.

Eventually she half-whispered, ‘Why don’t you go for her then? If she’s so amazing?’

His mouth twisted into a small grimace, his yes shadowing over in hurt. ‘She’s not interested in a relationship.’

This time she could not stop a real gasp escaping her lips. Surely he couldn’t mean her? But the way his eyes were focused on her, never leaving her gaze, spoke the truth. She was the one for him. And when she saw the look of hurt in his eyes, the cracks of lost hope, she wanted to take him in her arms and hold him forever.

‘She’s not interested in a relationship, just yet,’ she said slowly, her lips forming a small smile, ‘But there’s always tomorrow, you know.’

A smile spread across his lips, his eyes gaining their shine once more. She leaned forward, kissed him briefly on the lips to show him she meant it. A fleeting moment, small but so full of meaning, a small spark for a firework’s explosion. And as she kissed him, she couldn’t help but keep a wide smile off her face. Butterflies fluttered in their stomachs and threatened to carry them off into the night sky, and their hearts beat like kick drums. And after this one perfect moment, this one perfect kiss, they just stopped and stared at each other. Boy and girl. Friends up until then, and now something much more. A question now answered, the puzzle solved, and a perfect solution found.

And so they turned and walked off, through pools of golden glow and past slow cars out on late night drives, a boy and girl side by side, their fingers touching slightly, electric sparks passing between the two as they walked comfortably beside each other and through the night.