The Brown Eyed Dreamer

'Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.' William Wordsworth


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May 27th / (Heart)Break Down

I guess the part I’m scared of is 

The inevitable change;

When everything that once meant the world 

Crumbles like dust at our feet. 

What will we do,

When kisses that once inspired 

Soft sighs and butterflies,

Only flutter and fall

Like ashes from our lips?

What will we say,

When words that once bloomed

Between the spaces in the silence 

Wilt, wither and waste away  

In the dryness of closed mouths?

I don’t want your name to become 

A sour taste on my tongue,

I don’t want the melody of your voice 

To switch to a mourning hum;

But my fear is one morning I’ll wake up 

And all my feelings will have dispersed- 

Or worse, lying sleepless in twilight

I’ll know you stopped loving me first. 

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A New Year

When people ask me, ‘Did you enjoy 2012?’, I have to think for a second before answering. Because in that moment, a thousand thoughts flurry through my mind’s eye in a kaleidoscope of colours and emotions.

I see family, friends, laughter, tears, shouting, cheering, love, loss, good points and bad points. I see late nights spent whispering, texting, over-analysing, crying and daydreaming with youthful hope. I see mornings spent running, eating, talking and dancing around my kitchen with my dog. I see a relationship that flourished then shrivelled and grew worn like a flower after Summer’s last sun. I see a friendship that became something more, then simply faded away. I see a summer that could’ve been the best and almost became the worst of my entire life. I see a fractured self-esteem only now learning how to mend itself. I see a dark time of trying to find answers to questions I didn’t have, a time where hands reached out and pulled me back up to a place of light and hope. I see faces, some happy, some sad, some just thoughtful. I see memories which I’ll cherish long after these years are over, memories that will still bring a shine to my eyes and a smile to my lips long after they happened. I see a new year, promising and full of childish hope and naïvety, just waiting for me to explore. I see it all, and then, coming out of my daze, I answer.
‘It’s been an interesting year,’ I reply, a small smile playing on my lips and the glint of a thousand memories and secrets yet untold reflecting in my curious eyes.