The Brown Eyed Dreamer

'Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.' William Wordsworth


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People Exist.

It’s a weird feeling, the sudden realisation of the people around you. Not the crowds of emotionless faces you see on streets pushing past other emotionless faces, the lines of impatient frowns waiting for their coffees in a crowded café on a Wednesday afternoon- people. It’s strange to come to the realisation that these aren’t just faces and bodies and obstacles and hold-ups and filled space, these are people. And not just any people, people with a story, just like me yet so unlike me.

It’s strange to think that all around me, there are literally a billion stories going on, a billion paths being walked and uncovered. There are people living and experiencing and journeying in this adventure we call life, and it has nothing to do with me. There’s you, for instance. Right now, you’re reading this post, but afterwards, your life story is going to continue and I’m going to have no idea what will happen next. After I post this, my story will continue, but you’ll have no idea what will happen. We exist in the same universe but never acknowledged each other until right this second, and in a few seconds we could forget that again and carry on existing on our own, forgetting everybody else in an instant.

We’re all pinpricks of light floating through a chasm of darkness, so focused on our own trails we forget to focus on the mosaic of light around us and why it’s there. I always knew there were people around me, but I never thought about the fact that these people lived. That man in front of me at the check-out has friends and family, hopes, dreams, allergies, regrets. That girl who was waiting in the car park across from me has a story I have no idea about that she’s still working out for herself. All these faces I see and forget within moments, that form the backdrop to my life story, those faces have names and emotions and their own stories. And me? I’m just someone else’s background to their great story, another fading star in a sea of dark.


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The Curious Ones

I have a love for the curious ones in this life. I find the world a fascinating place full of mystery and adventure just waiting to be uncovered and explored, and finding someone who sees the world in that same way is an amazing thing to me. I love people who question the world and how it works, people who are keen to learn and explore and experience. I love people who reach out in the dark and grasp at the unknown, ready to face whatever they find. I love the glint in their eyes which are always moving to and fro, taking in every nook, cranny and crevice; I love how a question is always on the tip of their tongue, lips curled into an awestruck gentle smile. I love their giddy excitement for new things, their eagerness to try something new and relish in change. I love how they view the world around them with such questioning eyes and the more I grow to know them, the more I begin to see the world in the curiously intricate way they do. I soon fall in love with their world, and in a little way, with them too.


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Passionate People

I have a tendency to fall for passionate people. One of my favourite things is watching someone talk about something they truly love and are passionate about. The way their eyes light up and their whole being suddenly becomes alive and enchanted. I love how they talk in awed tones with flourishing hand movements, everything about them filling with light and delight. I can’t help but smile with them as they discuss with me, their love ebbing into me as I nod along and listen intently.. And even if it’s a topic I have virtually no interest in, if the person is passionate about it, they’ll have me hanging onto their every word.


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A Love Like That

I want a love like my parent’s.

They met each other through church when they were just kids, and happened to be in the same group. My mum told me that she fell for my dad as soon as she met him, and decided that he was going to be hers. And from that day she obsessed over my dad and followed him like a lone sick puppy.
My dad, on the other hand, was not so fond of mum; in fact, he found her constant presence annoying. And so for most of high school she followed him around and he tried his very best to ignore her, his eyes always more focused on two pretty blond sisters in school. Constant rejection eventually got the better of my mum however, and eventually she must have given up on the idea of my dad, and passed him in the hallways without giving him a backward glance. And suddenly, dad started to notice mum.
In a strange kind of way, he missed her excitable giggly nature and how eager she was to please. He missed her small figure looking up at him with pure wonderment in her child-like eyes. He missed the daydreaming looks and small blushing smiles she flashed him when they passed by each other. He missed the girl, who, despite having an amazing ability to annoy him more than anyone else, loved him with her everything. He missed the girl who had once seemed so plain, and now stood out amongst everyone. And so it came to be that on one day at a church event, something pretty amazing happened.
Now, remember I mentioned the two blond sisters? Well, their mother seemed to think my dad was a perfect match for her daughters, and thought she’d tell my dad so.
‘Billy,’ she greeted him, a girl on either side of her, ‘I know you and my daughters would go very well together. Which of them would you like to go on a date with?’
Dad smiled a little, at two girls he’d spent most of his school life thinking about, then turned round to a small girl beside him. A girl with child-like eyes and a giggly nature, who’d spent years falling head over heels for him and hadn’t stopped. A girl who looked up at him at that very moment, her eyes clouded with confusion and tiny shreds of hope, her mouth ever so slightly agape.
‘I think,’ he replied, sliding an arm around her shoulders, ‘I think I’ll stick with Kay for now.’
And so they walked off, leaving a frustrated mother with two very pretty but slightly embarrassed sisters. Soon after they started dating, and years after that they got married. Now about twenty years later, their love is still as strong and pure as it was that day and the days that followed. Yes, they’ve had their hard times, but they’ve pulled through. They made it through the worst of it, and although there’s probably more to come I think they have a strength that can endure.
When I see my parents all I can see is this overwhelming love. A love that I think everyone should have a notion of, a love that one day I hope to find. A love that I hope finds me.